Making ends meet is impossible in a room with you
In the absence of someone everyone becomes not them
For example, think of the last time you lost your friend in a crowd
The absolute violence of abandonment
In the absence of something everything becomes absence
Here are a few things I saw on my way here when you weren't there that made me think of you
You said something like
"I'm leaving"
or
(I'd never leave you)
or
"I can't stay"
or
(I'm going to stay whether you leave or not)
something like that
I estimate the distance between us that carries you away
all the way home
in my mind
to keep you safe
When you get to your front door
I can lock mine
Effortless Reassurance
I have a theory
among many
that there are two types of distance
Distance
and Hot Distance
The difference is the difference between
being alone
and being lonely
Distance is you
and I
without ever having met
having been
or needing to be any closer
Hot Distance is absence
In the absence of something everything becomes absence
In the absence of someone everyone becomes not them
A kind of Venomous infertility
Us having met
having been close
then a separation occurs
between us
which in turn makes for a loss
Distance is easy
Hot Distance is waking up early
in the morning
your face against the bare chest of someone you barely knew
but had been beneath
underneath the skin of before you were both born
whose bones turned to pollen beside you in the night
Before the sun
before work
And leaving them there
All Power to All Small Loves
We are the next generation of new mothers
Distance is throwing something
Hot Distance is throwing something against a wall thinking
it will bounce back into your hands in one piece
Text by Jordana Bragg
